DAVE

Ah, this is the life!

JERRY

Fresh air!

DAVE

A cold brewsky! (They clink their beer bottles together.)

JERRY

Good companionship!

DAVE

Miles away from the daily grind!

JERRY

And fly-fishing! It doesn’t get any better than this!

DAVE

And selling bras!

JERRY

What?

DAVE

And selling bras. Fly-fishing and selling bras! It doesn’t get any better than this!

JERRY

Selling bras? Is that what you said?

DAVE

What?

JERRY

Selling bras. (A pause.) You said SELLING BRAS.

DAVE

I thought we agreed not to talk business.

JERRY

You brought it up

DAVE

Fly-fishing isn’t business- it’s pure pleasure!

JERRY

You said SELLING BRAS!

DAVE

What?

JERRY

You tried to sell me a bra.

(A pause.)

DAVE

(Warily.)

Do you NEED a bra?

JERRY

Do I need- of course not! And if I DID need a bra, I wouldn’t buy it from YOU!

DAVE

I’m not selling bras.

JERRY

But you wanted to talk about it!

DAVE

Talk about what?

JERRY

Selling bras! You wanted to talk about fly-fishing and selling bras!

DAVE

What does fly-fishing have to do with selling bras?

JERRY

I don’t know! You brought it up! (DAVE shrugs.) Is this the way you do business? Bring your buddies up to secluded fishing hole, get them all excited about fly-fishing and try and sell them bras?

DAVE

Selling bras? I’m not selling bras. You’re the one who brought it up.

JERRY

Then why did you just try and sell me a bra? Do I look like I NEED a bra? Did I say I WANTED a bra? Have I ever mentioned that my life would be incomplete without a bra?

DAVE

Why would I try and sell you a bra? I’m a dentist.

JERRY

My point exactly! What does fly-fishing have to do with selling bras?!

DAVE

Don’t get so excited. Let’s just fish… we can talk about bras later.

JERRY

So you DO plan on selling me a bra!

DAVE

I wasn’t planning on selling anyone anything- but I wouldn’t mind TALKING about bras.

JERRY

Why would we want to talk about bras?!

DAVE

It’s what guys do.

JERRY

I don’t.

DAVE

Don’t what?

JERRY

Talk about bras!

DAVE

Sure you do. Everybody does.

JERRY

Since when?

DAVE

It’s a guy thing- go fly-fishing, have a cold brewsky, and talk about selling bras.

JERRY

You said SELLING bras.

DAVE

What?

JERRY

You said SELLING bras. Not just talking about them- but SELLING them.

DAVE

Talking about them, fantasizing about them, selling them- it’s all the same thing.

JERRY

It’s NOT the same thing! I can fantasize about bras as much as the next man- but I draw the line at selling them!

DAVE

Well, all I know is that I came here to fly-fish-

JERRY

Me too!

DAVE

That’s ALL I really came here to do. I’m not quite sure why you keep changing the subject-

JERRY

I’m NOT changing the- oh, for God’s sake! I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT SELLING BRAS!!

DAVE

I had no idea fly-fishing made you so emotional.

JERRY

I’m NOT emotional about fly-fishing! I’M EMOTIONAL ABOUT SELLING BRAS!!! (A pause. He is a bit embarrassed.) Let’s just fish, okay?

DAVE

You’re sure now?

JERRY

I’m positive.

DAVE

Because if you want to… you know… "share your feelings," I’m here for you.

JERRY

What is this- group therapy? I came here to fish!

DAVE

Fine, whatever… but if you WANT to open up…

JERRY

I want to fly-fish! That’s all!

DAVE

Okay… (He sighs.) But it would be nice to discuss "other" things.

JERRY

I’m not going to talk about selling bras! I just want to fish!

DAVE

You act like those are the only two things we have in common.

JERRY

Selling bras is NOT something we have in common!

DAVE

You know, it really hurts me to hear you say that. One of the reasons I asked you up here this weekend was to try and save our relationship.

JERRY

Relationship? We’re fly-fishing buddies!

DAVE

But we could be more…

JERRY

Okay, I’m leaving now.

DAVE

No, wait! I think we should discuss this. This could be really important.

JERRY

I’m REALLY not ready to hear this-

DAVE

No, just hear me out. What could be closer than the bond between two fly-fishing buddies? And what if that bond included women’s lingerie?

JERRY

You’re a sick individual.

DAVE

But have you ever really thought about it? Have you ever truly contemplated it? Have you ever mulled it over in its deepest-

JERRY

You idiot! We’re talking about fly-fishing! It isn’t Shakespeare! It isn’t some deep philosophical topic! It’s GODDAMN FLY-FISHING!!!

DAVE

So you HAVE thought about it?

JERRY

This discussion is OVER.

DAVE

But what about-

JERRY

I don’t want to talk about it! I don’t want to discuss it! I don’t want to mull it over philosophically! I don’t want to "share my feelings!" I JUST WANT TO RELAX AND GO FLY-FISHING!!!

DAVE

And what about sell-

JERRY

Fly-fishing has NOTHING to do with selling bras!! NOTHING!! NADA!! NEGATIVE!! NYET!! I don’t want to hear another word from you on either of those topics for the rest of the weekend!! And I don’t want to discuss "our relationship!" EVER!!! In fact, I DON’T WANT YOU ANYWHERE NEAR ME!!!

(A pause.)

DAVE

Boy, you’re touchy.

JERRY

Didn’t I just say "No Talking?!"

DAVE

Well, if THAT’S the way you’re going to be, maybe we should just get back to fly-fishing.

JERRY

I’d be very happy if that’s ALL we do.

DAVE

If you insist.

JERRY

I DO insist! NOT another word from you! I want you to be mute. AND totally deaf. I want us to be two deaf mutes fly-fishing. NO talking and NO listening.

What?

What are the hell are you-

DAVE

You said "No Talking!"

JERRY

Are we fly-fishing or playing charades?

Goddammit! I’m not looking at you!

We’re BLIND deaf mutes fly-fishing, NO TALKING blind deaf mutes.

WHAT??!!!!!

DAVE

I thought you might like-

JERRY

NO TALKING!! FISHING ONLY!! I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT BRAS!!! I DON’T WANT ABOUT GARTERS OR PANTYHOSE OR CORSET COVERS!!! I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT SUPP-HOSE OR JOCK STRAPS OR WONDER BRAS!!! I DON’T WANT TO TALK PANTY LINERS OR HALF-SLIPS OR DEPENDS!!! I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT LINGERIE- PERIOD!!!! I JUST WANT TO FISH!!!!!!!!

Ahhh…..

DAVE

I think you scared away the fish.

Now about those bras….

THE END