Great Moments in Cinematography pt. 6-10

Movie Marvin Sketches

by Timothy Meinke

Bee costumes and an Afro wig are available from Timothy Meinke

laurelrest@yahoo.com

Movie Marvin……………………………….........Movie theatre usher

Announcer………………………………..............Voice-over

Officer Pint……………………………….............Pint-sized police officer

Kate……………………………………………….Not enamored with Marvin

Shawn Bakken…………………………………….Shaun of the Dead

A family of bees, bevy of concession stand workers

The Sting

MOVIE THEATRE. MARVIN STANDS FACING THE CAMERA IN HIS TRADEMARK TUXEDO AND HIGH-TOPS. WE FIRST SEE HIM WITH HIS HANDS BEHIND HIS BACK. THEN, HE FASTENS A BOUTONNIERE TO HIS LAPEL.

ANNOUNCER

(VOICE-OVER.) And now, great moments in cinematography; by Marvin D. Usher.

MARVIN

"The Sting."

AN ACTRESS IN A HONEYBEE COSTUME ENTERS ONSCREEN FLAPPING HER HANDS RAPIDLY AND MAKING BUZZING NOISES.

MARVIN

Shoo! Shoo!

SHE FLUTTERS OFF-SCREEN, BUT IMMEDIATELY RETURNS AS A LITTLE GIRL IN A BEE COSTUME ENTERS FROM THE OPPOSITE SIDE OF THE SCREEN. THEY HOVER AROUND MARVIN FLAPPING AND BUZZING. HE DESPERATELY TRIES TO SHOO THEM AWAY. THEY FLUTTER OFFSCREEN, BUT IMMEDIATELY RETURN WITH AN ACTOR IN A BEE COSTUME. THEY ALL BUZZ AROUND MARVIN UNTIL HE GRABS HIS BOUTONNIERE AND THROWS IT BEHIND HIM. ONE OF THE BEES FLUTTERS AFTER IT. MARVIN SUDDENLY GRABS HIS POSTERIOR AND YELLS.

MARVIN

YEEOW! I just got stung!

THE BEES BREAK CHARACTER AND FACE THE CAMERA. MARVIN GINGERLY RUBS HIS SORE BUTTOCK.

MARVIN

"The Sting."

ANNOUNCER

(VOICE-OVER.) Another great moment in cinematography; by Marvin D. Usher.

SIMUTANEOUSLY, EVERYONE BRINGS THEIR FISTS TO THEIR CHESTS AND BOW THEIR HEADS ALA’ CAROL BURNETT.

The End

Kindergarten Cop

MOVIE THEATRE. MARVIN STANDS FACING THE CAMERA.

ANNOUNCER

(VOICE-OVER.) And now, great moments in cinematography; by Marvin D. Usher.

MARVIN

"Kindergarten Cop."

SOMETHING OUTSIDE THE DOORS CATCHES HIS EYE.

MARVIN

Uh, excuse me for just a second.

HE EXITS OUT THE DOORS. CUT TO A PARKED CAR IN THE THEATRE PARKING LOT. OFFICER PINT, A FIVE-YEAR-OLD CHILD IN A POLICE OFFICER COSTUME, STANDS IN FRONT OF IT WRITING OUT A TICKET. MARVIN APPROACHES HIM/HER.

MARVIN

Is there a problem, officer?

PINT

Is this your vehicle, sir?

MARVIN

Yes.

PINT

(DETACHES THE TICKET.) Your license plate tabs have expired.

PINT SLAPS THE TICKET INTO MARVIN’S HAND AND EXITS OFF-SCREEN. MARVIN GLUMLY FACES THE CAMERA.

MARVIN

"Kindergarten Cop."

MARVIN SADLY TURNS BACK TO THE THEATRE. AS THE ANNOUNCER SPEAKS, OFFICER PINT RE-ENTERS ONSCREEN AND FACES THE CAMERA.

ANNOUNCER

Another great moment in cinematography; by Marvin D. Usher.

OFFICER PINT BRINGS HIS/HER FIST UP TO HIS/HER CHEST AND BOWS HIS/HER HEAD ALA’ CAROL BURNETT.

The End

Director’s Notes:

If an exceptional kid actor is cast for the role of Officer Pint, rather than giving Marvin a ticket, (s)he should arrest Marvin for a greater offense.

Kiss Me, Kate

MOVIE THEATRE. MARVIN STANDS FACING THE CAMERA. AS THE ANNOUNCER SPEAKS, THE CAMERA PULLS BACK TO INCLUDE KATE STANDING NEXT TO HIM.

ANNOUNCER

(VOICE-OVER.) And now, great moments in cinematography; by Marvin D. Usher.

MARVIN TAKES A BREATH SPRAY FROM HIS POCKET, SPRAYS HIS MOUTH AND RE-POCKETS THE SPRAY. HE TURNS TOWARD KATE.

MARVIN

Kiss me, Kate!

KATE

Ew!

SHE EXITS OFF-SCREEN. MARVIN TURNS BACK TOWARD CAMERA.

MARVIN

Story of my life. (SHRUGS.) Oh, well. "Kiss Me, Kate."

ANNOUNCER

(VOICE-OVER.) Another great moment in cinematography; by Marvin D. Usher.

MARVIN BRINGS HIS FIST TO HIS CHEST AND BOWS HIS HEAD ALA’ CAROL BURNETT.

The End

Director’s Notes:

If we could find an actress whose real name is Kate, we could flash a caption and arrow when she is onscreen stating that fact.

Shaun of the Dead

MOVIE THEATRE. MARVIN STANDS FACING THE CAMERA.

ANNOUNCER

(VOICE-OVER.) And now, great moments in cinematography; by Marvin D. Usher.

MARVIN

"Shaun of the Dead."

A BEVY OF CONCESSION STAND WORKERS RUN PAST IN FRONT OF MARVIN SCREAMING. THE LIGHTS DIM. SHAWN ENTERS ONSCREEN. HE HOLDS A FLASHLIGHT UP UNDER HIS CHIN AND LURCHES ALONG VERY SLOWLY. A CAPTION AND ARROW POINTS OUT THAT HIS REAL NAME IS INDEED SHAWN.

SHAWN

Grr. Argh.

MARVIN BOPS HIM ON THE HEAD WITH AN INFLATABLE HAMMER OR TOY SHOVEL. SHAWN DROPS TO THE FLOOR AND OFF-SCREEN. THE LIGHTS RETURN TO NORMAL.

MARVIN

"Shaun of the Dead."

ANNOUNCER

(VOICE-OVER.) Another great moment in cinematography; by Marvin D. Usher.

AS THE ANNOUCER IS SPEAKING, SHAWN ATTEMPTS TO GET TO HIS FEET AGAIN. MARVIN BOPS HIM ON THE HEAD AND SHAWN AGAIN DROPS TO THE FLOOR. MARVIN BRINGS HIS FIST TO HIS CHEST AND BOWS HIS HEAD ALA’ CAROL BURNETT.

The End

Con Air

MOVIE THEATRE. MARVIN STANDS FACING THE CAMERA. HE IS SHIRTLESS, BUT HE HAS HIS RED BOWTIE ON AND A TOWEL DRAPING HIS SHOULDERS. A TOWEL IS WRAPPED AROUND HIS HEAD.

ANNOUNCER

(VOICE-OVER.) And now, another great moment in cinematography; by Marvin D. Usher.

MARVIN

"Con Air."

MARVIN SHOWS A CONAIR HAIR DRYER TO THE CAMERA. HE TURNS IT ON. AS HE BENDS FORWARD AND OFF-SCREEN, HE REMOVES THE TOWEL FROM HIS HEAD. AFTER A PERIOD OF TIME, HE TURNS THE DRYER OFF AND STRAIGTENS UP. HE NOW HAS ON A HUGE AFRO WIG. HE SHOWS THE HAIR DRYER TO THE CAMERA.

MARVIN

"Con Air."

ANNOUNCER

(VOICE-OVER.) Another great moment in cinematography; by Marvin D. Usher.

MARVIN BRINGS HIS FIST TO HIS CHEST AND BOWS HIS HEAD ALA’ CAROL BURNETT. (Or, he does a "peace-out" gesture.)

The End