A "The Shining" spoof

by Timothy Meinke

Marvin………………………………...................Usher

Kelly………………………………......................Little girl (Or boy.)

BLACK SCREEN. THE WORDS "Coming soon to a TV near you" FLASH. KELLY STARTS CHANTING "Red drum…Red drum…Red Drum." FADE IN TO CONCESSION STAND AT A MULTIPLEX MOVIE THEATRE. KELLY IS KNEELING BY THE CANDY CASE SCRAWLING THE WORD "Redrum" ON THE GLASS WITH RED LIPSTICK. HER CHANTING GROWS LOUDER AND MORE INSISTENT UNTIL MARVIN SPEAKS.

MARVIN

Little girl! What are you trying to say?

KELLY

I said I want the red one!

MARVIN

Oh! The red one. Okay.

MARVIN POKES HIS HEAD INTO THE CASE. CUT TO CLOSE-UP OF HIS FACE BY THE CANDY. HE NOW HAS A CRAZED EXPRESSION.

MARVIN

Heeeeeeeeere’s MARVIN!!

KELLY SCREAMS AND RUNS AWAY. MARVIN STRAIGHTENS UP. HE HOLDS UP HIS INDEX FINGER AND FLEXES IT TO THE WORDS HE SPEAKS AS "TONY."

MARVIN

(AS TONY.) Hey, Marvin! (AS HIMSELF.) Yeah, Tony? (AS TONY.) Look!

CUE "CELESTIAL SODA POP" BY RAY LYNCH. MARVIN’S GAZE FOLLOWS HIS INDEX FINGER AS IT SLOWLY POINTS TO SOMETHING OFF-SCREEN. MARVIN REACTS IN SURPRISE.

CUT TO THE CORRIDOR BETWEEN AUDITORIUMS. HUGE TORRENTS OF SODA START GUSHING OUT THE AUDITORIUM DOORS AND CASCADING DOWN THE CORRIDOR. THE WORDS "NOT from the producers of ‘The Shining’" FLASH AND FADE. THE WORDS "NOT a Stanley Kubrik film" FLASH AND FADE. THE WORDS "NOT based upon the best-selling novel by Stephen King" FLASH.

CUT TO CLOSE-UP OF AN OVERTURNED BEVERAGE CUP LYING UNDER THE SODA FOUNTAIN. SODA IS POURING OUT OF A SPOUT AND SPLASHING OFF THE CUP. CAMERA PANS BACK AS MARVIN PICKS UP THE CUP AND STOPS THE SODA POURING. STOP MUSIC TO SOUND OF NEEDLE SCRATCHING RECORD. MARVIN SMILES SHEEPISHLY AT THE CAMERA.

MARVIN

Sorry.

MUSIC RESUMES WHERE IT LEFT OFF. CUT BACK TO CORRIDOR. THE FLOOR NOW LOOKS LIKE THE SPARKLING SURFACE OF A LAKE. THE WORDS "The WaZoo! Show presents" FLASH AND FADE. THE WORDS "Marvin D. Usher in" FLASH AND FADE AS MARVIN WADES ONSCREEN CARRYING A MOP. THE WORDS "The Sparkling" FLASH. MARVIN STARTS MOPPING AS THE SCENE FADES. FADE THE WORDS AND MUSIC SHORTLY AFTER.

The End

"Celestial Soda Pop"

Copyright 1984 Ray Lynch Productions

The effect of soda pop pouring out the auditorium doors might be achieved by using the "Combustion" editing software.