Daisy Mae Kin'
A Billy Hill the Hillbilly Sketch
by Timothy Meinke
Cast
Billy Hill....................................................................
Daisy Mae..................................................................His attractive, young daughter
Billy's primitive, mountain kitchen. Billy is talking on an antique box telephone. Scene begins just as Billy is hanging up the phone.
Billy
(Calling.) Daisy Mae!
Daisy Mae
(Off screen.) Yes, Poppa?
Billy
Git' yer' butt in the kitchen!
Daisy Mae
Coming, Poppa!
Billy takes out a corncob pipe and lights it. Daisy Mae enters. She is the stereotypical barefoot hillbilly beauty with her hair in pigtails and wearing cutoff jeans and a flowery blouse. She throws her arms around Billy's neck and kisses his cheek.
Daisy Mae
Howdy-de, Poppa!
Billy unhappily assesses her sex appeal.
Billy
(Sadly to himself.) Oh, boy! (To Daisy Mae.) Daisy Mae, (Indicates stool.) Sit!
Daisy Mae
(Sitting.) What is it, Poppa?
Billy
I jest' got off the phone with a feller' named Jethro askin' to speak to Hot Lips. Before him, Tommy Bob called, Jimmy Bob called and Tommy Jim Bob called. All of them wanted to speak to Hot Lips. Now I have to ax you a serious question.
Daisy Mae
Yes, Poppa?
Steeling his resolve, Billy takes a puff from his pipe, then uses it for emphasis.
Billy
Daisy Mae, have you been smoking?
The End
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