DUCKS

DUCKS

By Dan Johnson, 2001

Characters:

Dad Duck

Son Duck

EXT. NICE WETLANDS AREA DAY

A father sits smoking a pipe and reading a paper. His son walks up.

SON

Dad? I'm confused.

DAD

Well what's on your mind son?

SON

In the fall we're going to fly south, right?

DAD

That's right son!

SON

Why?

DAD

Ah the grand migration! It's an awesome spectacle. We'll travel in a huge V formation to go south where it'll be warm for us during the winter.

SON

Ya, I know all that. But why not stop every once in awhile on the way there?

DAD

Well all summer long we get strong and store up lots of fat to give us energy! When I was your age my friends and I used to spend hours flying all over so on migration we were the first there!

SON

Ya, fine. But wouldn't it be easier just to stay down there? Not traveling twice a year would enable us to cut nutrient consumption during the summer by up to 50% thereby increasing livable wetland areas by the same percentage.

DAD

Well…well that's just not the way we do it!!

SON

It just seems inanely stupid to fly well over 3000 miles just to turn around and fly back a few months later!

DAD

...Uhm...

SON

And why do we always follow the same trans-migratory routes which are well known by everyone including those excruciatingly angry hunters waiting to blast us out of the sky?

DAD

All right that's enough of that talk! If it was good enough for your grandpa, one of the finest ducks ever to be hatched in this pond, it's good enough for you!

SON

Dad, didn't grandpa got shot when he landed on a stupid decoy....

DAD

Uhm, that's right...

SON

Grandma says he was trying to mess around with a young hen!

DAD

That's it! Get to your room! I won't listen to that garbage in this pond!

SON

But Dad!?

DAD

GET!