Written by W. Jason Schaal
[Each Tom the Urban Forester cut may be preceded by placard.]
[Scene One: We find Tom standing beside a small tree growing out of a grate cover in the sidewalk in front of a business.]
Urban Forestry has been very good to me. Um, I like it a lot. It’s challenging. And rewarding.
Off-Camera voice:How so?
Just last week I helped this little guy out. [To the tree] How ya doin, little guy? [smiles]
What did you do?
Well, it’s a common problem with urban dwelling trees that their roots get compacted under the sidewalks and streets. [he demonstrates with his hands] I asked the owner of this business right here to, you know, clean out all the, um, accumulated…stuff under the grate here.
[Camera briefly shows us that the stuff (dirt and sand) under the grate is full to the point of overflowing the grate.]
Looks pretty full still.
Yeah, but, um, he did agree it’s a problem and said he’d get right on it.
Last week?
[avoiding eye contact] Yeah.
[Cut to Tom standing beside another urban tree.]
This one had quite the infestation of squirrels, didn’t ya fella?
OCV:Squirrels?
Yeah. They can sure do some damage. Sharp claws, ya know? [he demonstrates]
So, what did you do?
Well, um, you have to get rid of them. Scare them off.
[Cut of Tom running around this tree, flapping his arms and yelling at the squirrels to get out.]
[Cut back to Tom now standing beside the tree.]
And that works.
[Smiling] Seems to.
Won’t they just come back, the squirrels?
Well, eventually.
Don’t squirrels live in trees?
[Cut to Tom approaching another tree to which a youngster is chaining his bike]
Hey! What are you doin?
Kid:Huh?
You can’t do that.
Do what?
Chain your bike to that tree.
Why not?
[Visibly upset, stumbling over his words] It’s not…it’s bad…it hurts the tree.
Yeah, right. [kid clicks the lock into place, drops it and turns to leave]
[calling after the kid] Hey! Hey!
[Turns briefly, giving Tom the bird]
[Sighs, turns back and notices the camera] Yeah, well, you can see what we have to endure. [looking at the bike] The trauma.
[Perhaps several cuts here of bicycles chained to trees.]
[Cut to Tom approaching a waitress at an outdoor café with trees in the sidewalk out front.]
Tom:Hi!
Waitress:Hello.
I was wondering if I could talk with you about your trees?
Waitress:My trees?
Well, these trees here. [he indicates the trees]
Waitress:Um, sure, let me see if I can find the manager. [She goes inside the café]
[Turns back to the camera] Most people are pretty cooperative if you, you know, you maintain a professional attitude. [he adjusts his name tag]
Manager:[Coming outside] Can I help you?
[clearing his throat] Um, yes, I wanted to talk with you about your trees.
Manager:Yeah? What about ‘em?
Well, I notice that they have a lot of lights in them.
Manager: Yeah?
[Beginning to sense the manager’s impatience] Yes, well, we all love the holidays. [smiles] The decorations. [smiles] The lights. [smiles, indicates the lights in the trees] But, um, it’s getting to be…kinda late in the season, wouldn’t you agree? To still have the lights in the trees?
Manager:So what?
Well, I mean, imagine yourself, standing out here all day. Holding your arms up. Holding those lights up. [he demonstrates] Pretty tiring, huh? Whew! [Laughs, wiping his brow]
Manager:[Staring at Tom through this. A slight pause, then] Get the
Well, I—
Manager:Did you hear me? I said get the
[scared but insistent] Excuse me sir, but the trees—
Manager:[raises his fist. Perhaps puts one hand over the camera lens but we can still see between the fingers.]
[makes a hasty exit]
to Tom sitting on a stone or brick wall along a sidewalk.]
Yeah. It can get dangerous out here, sometimes. Ya gotta be tough. [demonstrates] Grrr!
[Bird crap falls on Toms shirt. He wipes at it only making the mess worse.]
[Cut to Tom walking along a neighborhood sidewalk.]
It’s the whole city, you know, not just downtown. [makes a big circle with his hands] We can’t let the suburbanites think we’re forgetting about them. [caresses a hedge]
Do you think they’re aware of that?
[distracted] Huh? Oh, sure. Yeah, definitely. [amazed that people do this] You know, people just stand under trees and talk about anything at all. Yeah, you know, they listen.
The trees?
Yeah, sure. You know, that’s how the downtowners get so self-important.
Tom is still in the suburbs but has walked a little ways since we last saw him.]
Trimming is important, yes. I mean I know it must hurt but it’s for their own good.
How so?
Well…it keeps them from getting overgrown, you know, keeps them out of trouble.
close-up of Tom]
They look better, don’t you think?
Tom is walking along the sidewalk again. He sees a homeowner out trimming his/her hedges.]
[raising a hand in greeting] Keep up the good work!
Homeowner:[looks briefly at Tom, confused, returns to hedge trimming.]
Tom anywhere]
I’d say, the most important…strength—
Quality.
Quality…the most important quality of being an urban forester…is to keep a sharp…[demonstrates with his hands, forming a ship’s bow] focus. You know, you have to stay sharp and always be…learning.
A wooded area. Tom speaks in a low voice throughout this scene.]
[index finger to lips] Shh. This is the spot. [Tom is creeping through the woods.] I saw it here last week.
Do you go on field trips often?
Well, I try to get out fairly often, you know, whenever I can. It’s part of the learning process. If I’m going to be able to help the trees in the city, it’s important to observe specimens in the wild.
“In the wild”?
Yeah, you know, out here in the woods. There it is! [Gesturing with his hand] Come on.
[Tom and the camera creep along. Tom suddenly stops, hiding behind one tree.
[indicating another tree a few yards away.] There it is.
Why are you whispering?
[Looks confused.]
Tom is standing beside the tree he just indicated.]
See, this tree is the same as the one we saw earlier. In town. They’re the same,um…type. You don’t see these guys too often outside the city. Well, not if you’re an [making quote signs with his hands] “urban” forester. [smiles at the camera]
Tom in his car heading back to town]
Yeah, there’s some travel involved, you know, [pointing a thumb over his shoulder] like you just saw. I don’t mind though. I have my own car. [takes a deep breadth in through his nose]
Tom anywhere]
I guess you could say it was a calling. I guess I was, I don’t know, eight or ten. My dad took me for a walk. I remember looking up at the trees and thinking how tall they were. Then I looked up at my dad and how tall he was. And I remember thinking to myself, “Who takes care of all these trees?” You know, here in the city.
Then what? Any formal training?
Oh sure. I went to college. Some general studies. Biology gave me some trouble.
Same conversation with Tom.]
Really, it’s something you have to have a passion for. Something, you have to be willing to, you know, pursue on your own.
Same conversation with Tom.]
[staccato laugh] Ha. [pause] Birds. [smiles]
Same conversation with Tom.]
So, Tom, how did you end up here?
Well, I grew up here. I’ve live in this city all my life.
And the job?
Well, you know, it was tough, really. I had to talk to a lot of people. I, you know, um, talked with the city council about it.
About urban forestry?
Yeah, you know, about the importance of it.
And what did they say?
Well, it was really more like letter writing. I didn’t get a verbal response. Kind of a form letter.
Same conversation with Tom.]
Does it pay well?
Pay? You know, there are so many rewards…I really don’t think about…the pay’s not bad.
Tom giving tickets? Good tickets and bad tickets. Tom buying supplies.]
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