by
Bob McClain
hoppinbob57@yahoo.com
(Director note: Talk to Jim Norgaard for possible location.)
INTERIOR MECHANICS GARAGE
JUNKYARD BOB stands in the garage, smoking a cigarette and chugging a beer. Beer cans strewn everywhere, overflowing ashtrays, beat-up car on precarious looking stack of wood.
JUNKYARD BOB
(Notices camera, drops beer, wipes face)
Hey! Welcome to the Junkyard Bob Show! Ahm Junkyard Bob an' today we're gonna talk about replacing those pesky muffler bearings.
(pause)
When you drive your car, does it make a noise?
(Pause)
JUNKYARD BOB (CONT'D)
Well there ya go. Your muffler bearin's are about to explode. An' you don't want that to happen. When the muffler bearin's explode, the Paris knuckles come loose, shoot right through the floorboards, ricochet around, and then blast out the roof, killin' everyone in the car. Except fer the driver. You'll just have to live with the guilt and shame o' knowin' you killed your whole family. Unless you hustle yer car down here to Junkyard Bob's, 2833 Wiltmore Lane in beautiful downtown Shakopee. Fer a nominal fee, we'll have you back on the streets, proud to be an American citizen, and knowin' yer drivin' a safe car that won't murder yer entire family.
(Pause)
That concludes our show fer today. Next week, we'll discuss how uninsulated engine vibrations can cause mental retardation in yer children. Thank you and have a nice day.
THE END
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