No Sweet Rolls

A Slow Andy Sketch

By Timothy Meinke

Cast

Coffee Shop Worker………………………Stoic, speaks without emotion or expression

Slow Andy...................................................Coffee Shop customer

Coffee shop. Worker stands behind counter holding glass coffee pot. He never moves until the end of the sketch. Andy approaches counter. He is wearing a neck brace.

Worker

What can I get you?

Andy

I'd like a BLT, a cup of coffee and a sweet roll, please.

Worker

We don't have sweet rolls.

Andy

Oh. Well, then I'll have a tuna melt sandwich, a strawberry smoothie and a sweet roll.

Worker

We don't have sweet rolls.

Andy

Then I'll take a roast beef sandwich, a large Coke and a sweet roll.

Worker

We don't have sweet rolls.

Andy

How about a Double-tall, non-fat, extra-hot hazelnut and vanilla latte… heavy on the foam…with a dusting of cinnamon and chocolate shavings on top?

Worker

Okay.

Andy

And a sweet roll?

Cut to worker. His face is red and contorted with rage. He holds the glass coffee pot over his head.

Worker

(Shouts.) I SAID WE DON'T HAVE ANY SWEET ROLLS!!!

He swings coffee pot down. Cut to black. Sound of glass breaking.

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