The Retirement By Alice Pedersen

Rick: Today the staff at Everything Manufacturing would like to honor, Charlie, our loyal co-worker, who is retiring after working 20 years in our stock room. Charlie, we would like to present you with this beautiful gold Timex watch.

Charlie: I already have a gold Timex watch, and an Armitron, a Rolex, and a Swatch.

(Pulls up sleeve to reveal all four watches.)

Rick: Oh. Then how would you like one of our beautiful sterling silver pen sets?

Charlie: I already have a silver pen set and a gold pen set, a set of highlighter pens, red, black, and green marking pens, #2 yellow pencils and non-photo blue pencils.

(Brings out an assortment of pens from behind the podium.)

Rick: Well, then, how about this beautiful five-piece set of luggage or one of our genuine leather briefcases?

Charlie: I already have a five-piece set of luggage and a leather briefcase.

(Brings out from behind the podium luggage set and a briefcase engraved with the company logo.)

Rick: Is there anything in our stock room you don’t have?

Charlie: Nope. That’s why I’m retiring. (Aside) I wonder if I could get a job in a bank?)